I wish the tide would take me over

seriously. sometimes. Anyway, its a song lyric so forgive it.  I’ve been obsessed with the xx lately…which I just learned its “the xx” because they’re all twenty.  Little turkeys. But, maaaan. What sexxy music. Mostly, I’m writing because I feel like I owe it to the unemployed among us. Hell, all of us.  Its been rough lately.  Really really rough.  I’ve been at the unemployment lifestyle for some time now, and while some days the urge to just lie in bed and cry is too overwhelming for the most part I like to think myself capable of sanity and a joy-filled life.  That being said, I’ve been a little depressed lately not to mention, so has everyone else. So, I am compiling a nice little list of things to do, or ways to pass the time, or suggestions for not totally losing it, ways to get through the days…call it what you will, I hope it helps.

Do everything way more slowly. Seriously, what do you have planned today? Why not make it worth while.  If your anything like me, you’re probably eating like one meal a day, right? Make. It. Last. I find that when I give enough time and energy to any particular task I have around here, its that much more rewarding.  Allow yourself to appreciate your life. I think there is a whole school of thought for what I’m trying to say. Oh yeah, Zen.  Which, according to wikipedia aims to discover the Buddha-nature within each of us through meditation and mindfulness of daily experiences…which ultimately lead to enlightenment.  sweet.

Change banks. If you haven’t yet. Lets face it, you’re probably getting fucked by Chase. Am I right? Get a credit union, like BECU.  It used to be just for Boeing employees, but now all you have to do  is either work or live in the state of Washington and you qualify.  And you can do it…get. this. Online. ANNNNDDDD the minimum deposit to open a checking account is something like, one dollar [you can find that on the street, come on]. Lemme help, https://www.becu.org/default.aspx?var=olb.

Go to Value Village. Man, the possibilities are virtually endless in this place. You can donate ANYTHING you have and don’t want anymore and they turn around and give you a discount to buy more stuff from them. Or, you can just go and explore…there are soooooo many sections. Or, you can transform your wardrobe for little to no dollars.  Or, you can get a bunch of new furniture.  Or, books.  Let me pause and discuss the books for a sec.  Here are a few recent titles I’ve picked up…just to interest/amuse you/me: “The Psychic Healing Book”, “When Good Dogs do Bad Things: proven solutions to 30 common problems”, “Ancient and Modern Witchcraft”, “The Woman’s Dictionary of Symbols and Sacred Objects”…you get the idea. And, my god, the games. Which, I might mention, are a good way to spend time as well.  They always have at least one Trivial Pursuit which is like a whole day’s activity that you learrrrn from.

Organize your closet. Its fun. You find stuff you forgot. Its a good excuse to go to Value Village.  It looks awesome. Do it.

Purge your iTunes. I just deleted MercyMe…it’d been a long time.

Take a bath. This is when I allow myself to smoke inside. Naughty, I know. I also have bath toys. And bubble bath.  And, like a bajillion loofahs.  Thanks Doob.

Cook something new new. You know, like nothing you have any idea how to make.  You can get a cookbook at Value Village, or, god forbid…explore a new part of the internet.  I made the most bitchin’ mac and cheese I’ve ever had last week. Twice. Because it was that delicious.

Do what you want. Face it, if you don’t master your own destiny no one will. Or worse, someone else will.

TROLL craigslist. You already should be, I mean, if you’re looking for a job.  But like Value Village, there are soooo many sections. I got a free haircut yesterday. FREE.  And the personals always make me feel a little better.

Go outside. Sure, its winter. But its the mildest winter I’ve seen in at least 5 years. Depressed-ass.

Find a show that has a LOT of seasons. Myself? Star Trek.  For those days when going outside is sickening.

Quit Smoking. Cigarettes. Its a filthy habit that costs to much money anyway.  Everybody’s doing it, and you’ll thank yourself (maybe) when you make it to fifty. Plus, it takes a surprising amount of will-power.  You wont be bored for a few days…eh?

Get musical. I choose the piano, because I have no idea how to use a guitar. I also recommend the kazoo.  Its a more apartment-friendly piece.  And, you know a good place to pick up new musical instruments? Value. Village. Or, craigslist.  Forever free pianos and organs.

Pay your bills. Because the world doesn’t stop turning, and you don’t want bad credit.

Create. Seriously.  Anything.  It makes you like insta-twenty times happier.  I have watercolors on hand.  And crayons.  And a glue gun.  And a 300-in-one chemistry set from, you guessed it. Value Village. I seriously can’t stress Value Village enough. They donate the money to BLIND KIDS for heaven’s sake.

Laundry. You know you have too.

Alright, my friends.  I love you.  Take heart, I’m still receiving a monthly newsletter from Private Islands, inc. Soon enough we’ll be able to buy an island.  And, when that day comes, we’ll be ready.